so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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