what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
