So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
