People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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