So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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