her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
