im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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