Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
