She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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