I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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