i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
