Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
