i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
