Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
