Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
