walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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