her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
