It's like God shit irony all over that family
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
