break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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