Dual....:-)
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
