end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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