no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
