I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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