I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize