So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
