She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
