Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize