possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
