I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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