Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
