I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you didnt know i had herpes?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
