Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
