So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
