is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize