Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
