I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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