Need sex. Gaining weight.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize