I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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