TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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