Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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