Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The uberlube is also flammable
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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