You work out of a Hotel?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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