She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
