problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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