as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
