he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
