I need help removing her.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is the high leading the old right now
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
