the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize