i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
