my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
