before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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