somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i would punch a child for taco bell
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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