Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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