Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
