I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my shit smells like andre
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
