Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
