I never want to see another naked old woman again.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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