This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
