We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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