I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
