I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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