New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
