Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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