I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the condom got lost in my hair
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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