Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
