google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
