she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
